Title: Mad World
Pairing: Billy/Dom (Monaboyd)
Warnings: Caution! Death!fic! Song!fic!
Disclaimer: These blokes are not my property, the story is. Also, the lyrics belong to Gary Jules' Mad World. I changed some of them, Do Not Blame Gary Jules!
Summary: Dom reflects on his life as it seeps away from him...
They say that just before you die your whole life flashes in front of your eyes, I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad because these dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.
Dom lay in the pool of yellow light and watched as his clothes slowly soaked up the blood that was seeping from the hole in his abdomen. His blood. It was true he thought, you remember those parts of your life that really made you what you are.
It didn’t hurt. It had hurt initially but now he just felt numb. Numb and cold.
He remembered being a tiny boy on the beach, he remembered his first day at school, he remembered his first kiss, his first job, the taste of his mum’s apple strudel, his family, his friends. His friend. He smiled.
Dampness was creeping through his jeans from the wet tarmac, chilling his skin; he watched as tiny rivulets of blood found a puddle and made smoky swirls of red in the water.
I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, if only I’d been honest, I could have you in my arms.
Dom wasn’t afraid, fear had been replaced with regret what seem like an age ago. Time seemed to slow down, Dom watched people walk across the mouth of the alley in slow motion but when he called out, they didn’t hear him. Or perhaps they didn’t choose to hear him.
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow…no tomorrow…
He had come to realise that sometimes you have to loose something before you realise you have it. Realised too late. He wished with all his might that he could turn back time, just a few hours, a few hours would do. Shadows of voices echoed in his mind as he slipped a little further towards the blackness…
…not to hit me?…laugh in my face…love you…I knew…first day…ever be mine?…could you love…understand?…
Could you love me? Could you love me? I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, I told that I couldn’t but I’m finding that I can. I don’t know why I said it, I don’t know why I lied, I should have had some faith in us, if only I had tried.
Dom felt a pang of sorrow as he thought about his family and friends, what they might feel, what they would go through. His last breath brought one word to his lips and the tears streaked down his face with the raindrops. “Billy.”
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson, look right through me, look right through me.
“British actor: Mugged and Murdered on the streets of his home town.”
The tears are filling up their glasses, no expression…no expression…
…“It’s my fault, Christ it’s all my fault. If I hadnae told him…he just walked away into the night, into the rain. Oh god almighty it’s all my fault”…
All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.
“In loving memory of Dominic Monaghan: talented actor, treasured friend, loved one. We will miss you.”
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take, if I’d admitted that I loved you, I would still be here today. No one would be crying, no one would be sad and the love that I’d be sharing would be the best I’d ever had.
I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which I died were the best I’d ever had...